An old dear friend visited me yesterday evening. We began talking at 6.15 pm and didn’t stop for two straight hours, all through a visit to a coffee shop, a drive to the metro station, and even outside the metro station in the car, until a policeman shooed us away.
She and I share that rare connection one could call love. It’s almost like a physical chemistry. Had she been a man, I’d probably call him ‘the one’. But luckily, she’s a woman, so we are that much more intimate. We act as mirrors to one another, reflecting both our weaknesses and beauty. When we talk, we hardly ever drop eye contact; those hours we spend together are like a vital life connection with a soul-mate. It’s extremely fulfilling.
After dropping her off, my love and affection hormones on full high, I sent up prayers of gratitude. “There is God somewhere in this kind of friendship, isn’t it?” I asked God. “This friendship IS God,” came the reply.
Immediately, I was reminded of a conversation I’d had earlier in the day with a young woman who is too aloof and introverted to open up to people easily. And when she does, she falls heads over heels in love, begins imagining a rosy future, and then has one heartbreak after another. I advised her to be vulnerable more often, to open up more, to let in more people into her intimate space. I told her it doesn’t matter whether it is a man or a woman; once you make that heart-to-heart connection, you can find love, fulfilment, peace and even physical sparks in just about any relationship. It’s all about making that human connection.
Today, as I negotiated a roundabout, a portly policeman put out a hand to stop me as he wanted to cross the road. I slowed down, almost to a stop, but perhaps he realised he wouldn’t make it past the other cars anyway, so he stepped back, waving me by. In that split second, he and I made eye contact and burst into big grins because of the little comedy we’d just played out. Like a ripple effect, two other policemen and a bystander down the roundabout saw our exchange and smiled involuntarily themselves. I’m sure that one moment of human connection uplifted all our moods.
Ultimately, that’s all it takes. We imagine Titanic-style romance, thundering skies, bells ringing in the background, stars sparkling in our eyes – our image of love is defined by books and movies where everything ends in two hours or two hundred pages. But true love, the eternal kind, is simple, honest and ever-present. Whether it’s a smile shared with a stranger, or an intimate conversation with an old friend, or a romance that puts a glow in your cheeks, a pure human connection is all it takes. And it’s always there. You don’t have to ‘do’ anything; you just have to open up to it.
Love, the ultimate human connection, is not about seeking or finding or keeping. It’s about surrendering.