The girl was having boy problems.
“I have already told him I like him. So now he has hope that we’re taking it to the next level and going official about it. But the truth is, I don’t find him good-looking at all. I am in this only because he loves me so much.”
“They say love is blind. That only means that when we love someone, they seem good-looking to us,” I said. “If you have a problem with his looks, chances are you don’t really love him in the first place and are making a compromise.”
“But he’s really nice to me; he thinks I’m perfect.”
“But you don’t think you deserve perfection from your partner. You have low self-worth and are seeking validation from him.”
“That is true,” she acknowledged. “But what do I do now? I can’t break his heart. Just yesterday he told me he liked me and I told him I liked him too.”
“You and I, we’re so alike,” I said. “We find it easier to be selfless, to live life according to what other people want from us. It is more difficult for us to assert ourselves and choose our own happiness above others.”
“But why are we like this? Why can’t we be just plain selfish like other people?”
“It is in the nature of the apple to be an apple; it is in the nature of the orange to be an orange. This is how we are and we must constantly be on the alert not to allow this tendency to drag us into unhappiness.”
“But now how can I backtrack from my own words? I do like him, but as a friend. I like being single too. I am too young to be in a proper relationship.”
“Face up to the consequences of your actions and your words. It is okay to backtrack and seek forgiveness. It is necessary that you live your most authentic truth and not be forced into situations you don’t want to be in. It will only create a destructive chain of karmic cycles for the rest of your life. You aren’t doing him or yourself any favour by being untruthful to yourself.”
“But he will be so sad and I won’t like that either.”
“You have to let him live out his karma; you have to live out yours. Maybe this loss will be good for him in the long run. Be honest. Tell him you are too young and though you said you liked him, you are feeling very uncomfortable about the whole thing now. Tell him you value him as a friend and wish that you could continue being the same way for another few years. If at the end of that time, you still have feelings for one another, you could give it another shot.”
“Hmm,” she dug out her phone and took notes on it. She wouldn’t really tell him all those things, but having it listed out in her own mind helped her feel better about it.
It was a lovely breezy evening, yellow leaves floated about playfully, but the girl — like countless girls since the beginning of time — was lost in her boy problem. As big, round raindrops began to patter down on our car, I thought I saw God smile.