A few days ago, I found myself in a working relationship with people that I judged in a negative way. I also happened to meet mutual acquaintances who gave me enough goss to reinforce my initial impressions.
Around the same time, I read a post at Tiny Buddha about NOT JUDGING others:
“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” – Wayne Dyer
“When you judge someone by one of their worst moments, you rob yourself of the opportunity to see and appreciate their best.” – Lori Deschene
And so I began a concentrated effort to restrain from judging these persons. Who was I to look down on them anyway, I told myself. They had come into my life for a reason – to teach me something I needed to learn, or to reflect my own life tendencies or weaknesses back at me. By judging them for lacking something, I was essentially demonstrating a lack of something in myself. On the other hand, by accepting them warts and all, and treating them with the respect and compassion due to any Buddha, I was allowing their highest self to come forth from within them, and embracing it within myself.
Within days I began to observe a difference in their demeanour and in my own. I block gossip now. I still raise an eyebrow at certain instances, at times, but then I chide myself for being ‘too small-minded’ and tell myself: “You are love.” I am hopeful that the tendency to judge them will wear out completely over time.
I cannot change others, and indeed I have no right or need to. I am here in this world to be the best that I can be, to achieve the highest self that I am capable of. It will not happen by pointing out flaws in others. It can only happen by constantly polishing those within myself.