I have been absconding from duty (this blog) not because there haven’t been any miracles in my life, but because there have been so many that I cannot express it all in words.
So I thought, let me start with what’s right there in front of me. And what there is – is my girls fighting.
It’s been a lovely but long day, and there is nothing more I look forward to than reading a magazine or a book, or perhaps watching television with the girls, after dinner. But today, they began tearing each other’s hair out, screaming bad language and totally disregarding me, over a particular channel.
Such conflicts have become rare in the recent past, but whenever they do erupt, I feel a bit wheezy in my chest. It is a sense of claustrophobia, of losing control over my circumstances. I end up losing my temper, screaming and feeling completely ridiculous because it doesn’t solve anything. I hate these situations. There is nothing more I hate than trying to separate two fighting kids.
Today, I did raise my voice, but luckily, I was able to control my anger, irritation and sense of helplessness from going down into my chest. I didn’t lose it, but my elder one did, and she ran out in a huff to watch her favourite channel on the television in the other room. My younger one promptly put on her own show as before. The house went back to its earlier silence, however uneasy.
And so here I am, asking myself, where is the God in this? What can I be thankful for, right now?
That I have children, two of them, who are healthy and capable of screaming their heads off and defending themselves in catfights. That they live with me. That I know what they are watching on television. That I know what they do every evening. There you are. There’s my God.
That I have two televisions. Hallelujah.